Remember when Facebook was the more professional alternative to MySpace? Now that the gates have opened for people to create applications, Facebook profiles have become cluttered catastrophes of html. Here's 7 popular ones that take up valuable Scrabulous room.
7- Super Poke
Screw the Pillsbury Dough Boy; poking is not fun. On the Internet, it's even a bigger bother, as these little pokes can be annoying and evoke neurosis. You have to ask yourself: "To poke, or not to poke?" "What if you poke and you don't get poked back?" "And, if you poke one, should you poke them all?" You may not be as neurotic, or have as much time on your hands as, say, an Internet list writer, but you know you've have poke debates in your head before.
6- Friends for Sale
There is no doubt that most people would sell their friends out for what's in between Bill Gates' couch cushions. It's just crazy that over 670 thousand people would do it for fake money! Yes, over 11 percent of Facebook users want to buy, sell and trade their friends like tickets on Stubhub for nothing more than the good feeling of killing an hour of their life.
5- Compare People
Your friends already have low self-esteem, now they have to hear it from you that they aren't as attractive as Billy Joe Blow? As if telling your friends they suck in real-life wasn't embarrassing enough. Talk about an assault on our personal relationships. This is going to make the next bowling night awkward.
4. Dr. Phil's Personality Test
Ok, anything with Dr. Phil's name attached to it deserves to be attacked, but this takes the cake. Over 11 thousand people trust Dr. Phil's automated quiz to tell them what type of personality they are? Have they ever watched him on TV for even a minute. You're not even getting that moron; instead it's a virtual representation of a self-help hack. This is just as bad as asking the guy who pumps your gas what your purpose in life is if you choose Premium over Regular.
3. Would You Do Me?
This application poses a simple question: Would you fuck your friends? Sure, meaningless trysts and self-exploitation kick ass, but this is just as shocking and disgusting as the Gene Simmons Sex Tape. Yuck. Think about this: over 16 thousand people are asking close friends, relatives, and co-workers if they are "doable." Here's a tip: All you need is a dark bar and $100 worth of tequila.
2. Take. Premium Quizzes
Everyone's taken at least one of those ridiculous personality tests in their lifetime. That's why it's not surprising that Take. Premium Quizzes is so prolific in its attacks on America's eyeballs. With over 107 quizzes like "How Many Kids Will You Have" prove that six questions, including "what sexual positions do you prefer" will tell you how many children you'll have. And quizzes like "What Underwear Are You" will tell you if you're a thong or a boy short. This application is totally Granny Panties.
1. Vampires/ Zombies/ WereWolves/ Slayers
These applications have evoked a unanimous sentiment of disgust with their virtual bites and attacks. They've been grouped into one entry because, they are basically one application with four different characters. With a collective 353,538 daily users, these viral creatures have been terrorizing our FaceBook pages for too long. And we posit that none of this virtual zombie warfare will prepare us for the eventual rise of the undead.
